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The current year represents a full decade since the word “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal habits indicating a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {