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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?